Ten Things Your Engaged Friend Wants You To Know (But Will Probably Never Tell You)
By Sara Thomas: soon-to-be-Nichols
So your friend just got engaged. Cue the wedding showers, dress fittings, and cake tastings! Planning a wedding has its own unique set of challenges, so here are ten things you need to know about what’s going through your bestie bride’s head right now (and what you can do to help):
1. I’m Very Excited...and I Want You To Be, Too!
Getting engaged is one of the happiest moments in your friend’s life (until the big day arrives, that is). Most likely, all she is going to talk about from now on is her fiancé this and her fiancé that; the bulk of your convos will be about the upcoming wedding. Share in her excitement by being celebrating with her! Get her a cute bridal coffee mug as a gift or call her immediately to ask for all the juicy details. She is going to love that you are so happy for her and are just as excited as she is about the big day.
2. I’m Overwhelmed
As excited as your friend is, she is also very likely over-processing right now. Her mind is continuously in wedding planning mode. She is distracted by choosing themes, colors, dresses, etc...sometimes it will feel like she is drowning in all of the decision making! Remind her that all of these little details really do not matter in the end, that as long as she and her hubby-to-be are standing at the altar come the big day, the wedding will be a success. Also, give her a little slack if she does not respond to a text immediately or seems spaced out when you are talking to her. She has a million different things taking her attention right now!
3. My Emotions Are All Over The Place
Your newly betrothed friend is going through, well, all lot right now. This is a massive step in her and her fiancé’s life. There will be a boatload of changes for her over the next few months, and merging two completely different lives is not easy. Some days she may be giddy with happiness, while others may be crying from frustration. Instead of complaining that she is acting like a bridezilla, be that listening ear when she needs to vent!
Saristopher
Est. 2020
4. I’m Scared/Nervous
Planning to cohabit with another human being you have most likely only known for a fraction of your life, while exciting, can be terrifying. Your friend may be worried about a lot right now: how the wedding will turn out, what if the cake is a disaster, what if I do not fit into my dress, the wedding night, what life will be like as a wife...even if her fears seem irrational, try to remember to be a calming presence in her life. Reassure her that she is a boss babe and everything will work out, no matter what!
5. I’m Stressed To The Max
Wedding planning is hard. Probably one of the most stressful times your friend has ever gone through. Whether she has a year or six months to plan, she has to make a ton of weighty decisions. Learn to recognize when the planning is getting to be too much and invite her out for a girl’s brunch or spa day just to get her mind off wedding mode for a while.
6. I Crave Your Support
Because your bestie is making so many decisions, she will need someone in her corner to back her up. You may secretly hate her choice of dress, songs, or flowers, but show that you are supportive of her- she has a lot to deal with already than second-guessing herself! Reassure her that you are behind whatever she wants for her wedding day, even if it means you have to wear a grass hula skirt down the aisle.
wedded bliss pending…
7. I Value Your Opinion...Sometimes
Your friend will probably bounce a lot of her ideas off you or may ask for your thoughts on something during the planning process. Do not be offended if she does not go with or like your idea though you should be honest. Do not bombard her with a bunch of pictures and set up a mutual Pinterest wedding board (unless she wants you to)! Try to only volunteer information and ideas when she asks for them unless it is something you absolutely know she will adore. Remember, it is her wedding, so although you may have some great ideas, she has the ultimate say-so.
8. I Need Your Help
Your friend is going to need all the help she can get when carrying out her wedding plans. She cannot do it all alone! Whether it is helping her put together her DIY invitations or running with her across town to pick up decorations, offer to help however you can! Try to be there when she needs you to complete a task for her. Text her regularly to ask if there is anything you can do, and stress your willingness to work to make the big day go smoothly.
9. I Need You
If there was ever a time your friend needed you most, it’s now! Do not neglect your friendship because it seems like your friend is preoccupied or appears not to have time for you anymore. Continue to call, text, send memes, laugh, hang, shop, whatever you two do together! Reminisce about old times and make some new memories. Take a final road trip together where you sing Disney songs at the top of your lungs or plan a fun sleepover. Invest in the last few months you have as two single gal pals because that is inevitably going to change soon.
10. You’ll Always Be My Bestie
Know that even though your friend is getting married and life as you have both known, it will be radically different, you will always be BFFs! The dynamics of your relationship may change, but the foundation of your friendship never will. Learn to accept and flow with the differences you are both going to experience after she gets married. Remember that even if you live miles apart and can only see each other once a year, your friend will always be there for you, no matter what!
To hear the incredible love story of the bride-to-be and her fiancé, check Sara’s Segment: My Beautiful Story on the Just Aneissa blog. You can follow the couple on Instagram @sarathomas92 and @christophernichols_. Be sure to visit their website, thenicholsmakecents.com, to see photos and get more details about the big day!
