Being Offended 101

It does not take much to get offended in 2019. All you really have to do is post your opinion publicly, and wait. Growing up in church all my life, it was no big deal to have visiting ministers come in and read the mail of the church body.

Reading the mail- slang:

Having absolutely no previous outside knowledge of what is going on within the church or with the saints. Being so in tune with the Lord one could just point to you and tell you exactly what sin you were struggling with and how to correct it.

Also, see: prophet.

Of course, the atmosphere was intense during these services, but the need for correction was evident. Guest ministers would address situations with individual families in the congregation. Instead of scooping up the kids and walking out of the back door, husbands + wives would run to the altar and repent like they only had 60 more seconds on this Earth. This type of change was conviction with action. I have always been a firm believer of individuality and opinions. Everyone is completely entitled to their own belief that is what makes the human race unique. Different ideas could either change your point of view for the better or solidify the way you already think about concepts. With that being said, I believe (yeah here comes my opinion)

I believe in order to be offended two concepts have to work in harmony.

1) You value the person’s words

2) The opinion/statement has to be true

If some random stranger told me, “Hey Aneissa, I think you’re the most disgusting slob on the planet.” That statement would have zero effect on me because we all know I am the second coming of Monica Gellar and there is not an inch of filth in any area of my life. Now, if my mother told me she thinks I spend too much money on macarons, that might sting a little. I know my mom only wants what’s best for me, even when it comes to my finances and the statement might be a liiiittle true. So I would try my very best to cut back on the number of macs I purchase. People posting their opinions for the world to see is not uncommon, hello, I’m doing it right now. It is the reader misunderstanding the writer’s words or intentions- that is the problem. Individuals are so set on their way being the right and only way, it becomes challenging to empathize and adapt to someone else's point of view. The internet only heightens this situation, because everything is at our fingertips and I can tell you why you are wrong from behind a computer screen five thousand miles away, then block you from ever seeing anything I post again.

Being offended has recently become a national sport. I hate to say it, but I know a few people who have gold medals in the art of being offended, why? Why is it so simple to hurt each other to the point of offense? I sincerely believe individuals are being offeneded left and right because of misplaced value. As I stated earlier, the first part of being offended is value. People are not prioritizing the individuals in their life. Every day we interact with strangers, acquaintances, friends, BFFs, and family. Your family + dear friends should be held at a higher priority than the other groups, why, because they know you better, duh! The intimate groups of people want what is best for you, so it is harder for them to offend because you understand they want to see you grow for the better. (This doesn't mean fam + BFFs cannot hurt you, it means offenses tend to damage less because you know their intentions are coming from a place of love.) Strangers and people we do not see very often can easily hurt us because they choose to skip the backstory. They take one concept or voice their thoughts about a theory, and we get offended. We have placed their ideas on a pedestal. Somehow in that moment what they are projecting has importance to us + we have to take time out of our day to address it. Or even worse, we do not address the hurt feelings and let it fester and grow until our hearts are hardened.

So what does the Bible teach us about offenses?

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 (English Standard Version or ESV) "Do not take to heart all the little things that people say..."

My version: Don't sweat the small stuff. If you want a reason to have your feelings hurt, you'll find one.

II Timothy 2:24 (ESV) "And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach patiently enduring evil."

In other words: Fighting over FB is lame if you see something you don't like/ disagree with, here is a fresh new idea, keep scrolling. The pictures of your third cousin's stepbrother's baby will make you forget all that in about 0.03 seconds.

Proverbs 12:16 (ESV) "The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult."

Or: You can tell when a whiner baby gets offended right away, a smart man has better things to do.

In conclusion, the next time you feel like you are about to become offended stop + ask yourself some questions:

-Does this person hold enough value to speak into my life?

-Is this statement or wisdom they are imparting true?

If the answer to both of these questions is no, then please move on + live your best life. If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then instead of being offended and responding in anger, take that conviction and your temporarily hurt feelings, pray about it and reevaluate your life. An offense is not supposed to last a lifetime; a true offense should force you to see concepts from another point of view. It should open your mind to different vantage points and help to strengthen weak areas of your life. So I'm begging you to think twice before you clap back on Facebook. Please do not uproot your entire family because your pastor approved a Christmas tree in the church foyer. Stop it, step away from the trigger, and make empathy great again.