XOXO, Gossip Girl
I was recently placed in an extremely uncomfortable conversation situation. Two parties were playing a game of verbal ping-pong. Back and forth, these two went on with smeared facts about a person I assumed was a mutual friend — someone who, in my honest opinion, is doing their very best with their current predicament. I just silently watched as everyone got cozy, hunkered down, and started "going in" on someone who was not even present to defend themselves. After about as much of it as I could take, I made a flaky excuse to leave the scene. Annoyed with myself for not yelling at them to mind their own boring business, I quietly got my things + left.
Why is it so easy to gossip?
Gossip is an alluring and straightforward trap to fall into. It allows you to focus on other people's faults instead of prioritizing your own. It pleases us to hear about individuals who are not handling situations in the same manner as you, but you will never be a true friend to let them know that in love. In its entirety, gossip is downright pathetic. You can package gossip in any manner you would like: sharing other people's needs so you can pray for them, a cautionary tale of warning others what not to do, an elaborate prayer request can also cultivate gossip.
“Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips
and spreads slander is a fool.”
Here is the black-and-white truth and the main reason why people gossip. Nothing entertaining is happening in your life, so you choose to weigh in on someone else's life choices while simultaneously chipping away at your character and reliability. It might seem extremely uncommon for someone in their mid-20s to not be on board gossip train. Still, as I sat there in that uncomfortable predicament, I honestly thought if these people could shred someone's reputation so casually, they would have absolutely no problem gossiping about me. When the social scene shifts from what everyone in the room is currently doing to what people not present in the room are not doing, it is gossip, no matter who you are with.
“A perverse person stirs up conflict,
and a gossip separates close friends”
What to do instead.
Less really is more when it comes to quality conversations. Individuals tend to forget that everyone makes mistakes, hiccups in the past, unfortunately, turn into ammunition for the future. The less vocal we are about our struggles, our finances, and our next move means we have so much more power when it comes to owning our integrity. So here is what you do the next time you find yourself in a seedy gossip session. Acknowledge the fact, if people are slandering someone else's name. Bring up the option to call the particular person on the phone and have an intervention with everything that was said. Ten times out of ten, the gossipers would not want the" target" involved. My favorite option is to be quiet. It is absolutely a lot harder than it sounds. Still, I would never want anyone bringing up mistakes that I have made (particularly because everyone believes they are making the right move until it is proven to be a mistake) in a group or private setting. The next time you feel the urge to even listen to gossip, pause, take a step back and realize we are all only human. Let us treat each other with the utmost respect, whether individuals are in the room or not.
“A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”
